The Perfect Present
by CakeBacon
Summary: Hans makes an unexpected reappearance into Arendelle and is about as charming as you might expect. This story was written as a birthday gift for my close friend, tumblr user snowfjord! It was fun to write something outside of my usual fandoms. Enjoy!


Anna stood along one of the far walls of the ballroom. Her fingers traced patterns in the condensation on her glass in an agitated manner. She had been looking forward to this party for weeks, and it was not shaping up as planned.

"Why did they bring him here?" Kristoff said through gritted teeth. He had asked that question aloud no less than five times over the course of the evening.

The royal family of the Southern Isles was in attendance…the _whole_ royal family, including the disgraced youngest son who had tried to murder both Anna and her sister little more than a year ago. If Anna peaked around the side of Kristoff's protective shoulder she could just make him out on the other side of the crowded ballroom. He blinked in and out of her vision as oblivious partygoers danced merrily between them.

"You should be dancing," said Elsa, walking over to where she and Kristoff had remained camped all evening. She put a hand on Anna's shoulder. "I hate to see you looking so miserable."

"Then maybe you should have been more discerning about the guest list," Kristoff bit off.

Elsa grimaced.

"Obviously I didn't expect they would bring _him_ along, but I had to invite the royal family. The Kingdom of the Southern Isles is Arendelle's nearest neighbor; we can't let them become enemies," Elsa explained apologetically. "We're already on shaky terms because of last year's…disturbances."

Anna didn't know how Elsa always managed to stay so composed. No matter how bad things got, her older sister new exactly what to do and acted with perfectly regal politeness. Elsa was apparently able to file the worst day of Anna's life away as a _disturbance_. Anna wished she could do that.

Kristoff, on the other hand, seemed less than impressed.

"How can you be so casual about this?" he fumed. "He tried to _kill_ you. He tried to kill _Anna_."

Elsa tensed up and clenched her fists. Anna knew Elsa had a retort ready, but she couldn't bear it.

"Please don't fight," mumbled Anna.

Both Elsa and Kristoff deflated a little.

"I just…" Kristoff stopped to take a deep breath then held his hand out to Anna. "I'm sorry. How about a dance?"

Of everything Anna had been looking forward to about this party, dancing with Kristoff had been highest on the list. She was sure he would be terrible at it, but she didn't care. She had imagined him staring at his feet, more worried about stepping on her toes than getting the steps right, counting quietly under his breath. All she could think of now was how taking a turn about the dance floor would inevitably bring her right past _him_.

She must have hesitated too long, because Elsa looked at her sadly and whispered, "Maybe I _should_ ask them to leave."

Anna reprimanded herself for not being as tough as Elsa about this.

"No, Elsa," she said. "Let them stay. It's Christmas after all." She forced a small smile to appear on her face.

Elsa placed her hand on Anna's shoulder appreciatively.

"Maybe we should go for a walk instead?" Kristoff suggested.

Getting out of the crowd and having some room to breathe was exactly what Anna wanted.

"That sounds perfect."

As Elsa walked off to entertain the guests, Kristoff led Anna out of the ballroom and down the east hallway. The main entrance and kitchens were in the opposite direction, so there was little traffic in this part of the castle.

Candles glowed in the sconces on the walls, but no one had bothered to light the chandeliers hanging high above them. The flickering candlelight made the portraits of her ancestors come alive as if they were enjoying the music which was still slightly audible.

After a silent, comforting stroll up the wing, Anna and Kristoff turned back toward the ballroom.

Walking through the corridors of her family home with her hand resting on Kristoff's sturdy arm made Anna think that she might be able to muster up a dance after all.

"I was hoping to find you here."

Cold dread made Anna's heart pound while the rest of her froze in place. Hans was standing next to the ballroom's east door, clearly waiting for her. The panic pulsing through her was reminiscent of the feeling in her chest as he left her alone to slowly freeze to death.

Kristoff was scowling, and his voice grated with barely-controlled civility, "Excuse us."

Kristoff escorted Anna toward the door, but Hans put a hand on Kristoff's arm and stepped in front of them.

"Please," he said with a pleading look in his eyes. "I know you've been avoiding me all night…"

"Then excuse us," repeated Kristoff icily, putting an arm around Ann's waist and trying to steer her around Hans and toward the ballroom.

Hans stepped in front of them again, now standing uncomfortably close, and put his hand on the doorframe, barring their way. The partygoers on the other side seemed not to notice anything unseemly was going on. He cleared his throat, straightened to his full height, and stuck out his chin. "I thought it would be prudent to apologize for the inconvenience I caused you last year."

Anna and Kristoff looked at each other and blinked before turning their attention back to the puffed up cur in front of them.

" _Inconvenience_?" Anna asked, her apprehension taking second seat to astonishment.

"Yes," said Hans, "You know, for the whole thing with the fireplace and the lake."

Kristoff bristled, "And the desperate attempt to overtake the kingdom and commit two murders?"

Kristoff dropped his arm from Anna's waist. Both of his hands were clenched into fists, and he stepped right up to Hans, their chests nearly touching.

Hans frowned at Kristoff as if annoyed. "I'm trying to apologize!"

Hans pushed a gloved index finger into Kristoff's chest as if to hold him at a distance and turned his head to the side as if he smelled something displeasing.

"Apologize?" said Kristoff. "No amount of apology can counteract the horrible things that you did! And you haven't actually said you're sorry."

Kristoff grabbed Hans' arm from the doorframe and roughly shoved him away. Some guests who were near enough to witness the commotion gasped and muttered amongst themselves. Kristoff grabbed Anna's hand, pushed past Hans, and stormed into the ballroom.

"You know, Anna," Hans called after her, "It's not too late for you and me, if you want to trade your mountain man for someone who doesn't solve his problems with muscle." Anna looked over her shoulder and cringed at his self-satisfied leer.

She felt Kristoff step away from her brusquely. Before she could fully realize what was happening, Kristoff wound his arm back and punched Hans squarely in the face. Hans stumbled back a bit but regained his composure with a chuckle.

"See what I mean, Anna darling?" Hans seemed pleased with himself as he pulled a lacey handkerchief out of his pocket and dabbed at the blood on his lip. Anna felt like she might be sick.

Kristoff basically growled as he readied another punch. They had drawn quite a crowd now. The attention and the political implications made Anna nervous. She rushed forward and put her hand on Kristoff's arm.

"That's enough!" she said.

Hans used the distraction to take a swing at Kristoff, and hit him on the jaw.

Kristoff grunted, and Anna gasped.

"What happened to not using 'muscle' to solve your problems?" asked Kristoff grimly.

"I'm merely defending myself," Hans said loudly, purposefully addressing the crowd, " _and_ the lady."

Kristoff blinked. "What?"

Hans rushed forward and dove at Kristoff's waist, tackling him. Anna had no choice but to scurry out of the way. It was clear Hans wasn't much of a fighter, because he and Kristoff landed in a tangle on the floor. Kristoff had fallen on his rear end, but Hans took the force mostly in his arms.

Being broader and stronger than Hans, Kristoff had no trouble pushing Hans off him and pinning the scoundrel down by his shoulders.

"What did you mean just now?" asked Kristoff. "How could you possibly think you're defending Anna?"

Kristoff was pinning Hans at arm's length, so Hans had enough room to swig a knee up into Kristoff's ribs.

Guests were beginning to shout remarks either discouraging or encouraging the pair. Anna was in a panic, wishing Elsa and her problem-solving magic and level-headed leadership would show up. _Where is she?_

Kristoff groaned and lurched forward, loosening his grip enough for Hans to squirm away and stand back up. He smoothed his suitcoat haughtily.

"I meant that you are a brutish thug who has no business consorting with a princess."

Kristoff slowly stood and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Her name is _Anna_ , and she can _consort_ with whomever she likes!"

Kristoff stepped forward, planted his foot behind Hans' ankle, and shoved Hans hard in middle of his chest.

Hans toppled over backward and fell solidly on his backside with a grunt. There were more cheers than gasps among the gathered throng, and Hans glowered.

He stood, wearing an eerie sneer. With cold intent, he slowly drew his sword. The metal hissed against the scabbard in the still silence that had fallen over the group. Anna's breath turned to stone in her lungs.

"This commoner has assaulted me," he said, pacing around Kristoff predatorily. "I will punish him as I see fit."

"Hey, whoa," said Kristoff, putting his hands up in front of him. "Let's calm down."

Hans scoffed and walked slowly toward Kristoff, emanating callous confidence.

For the first time since the confrontation had started, Kristoff looked scared. The movement was almost imperceptible, but his fingers were trembling.

Anna looked around wildly for anyone who might help, but everyone was standing back sheepishly, just as she was. She pressed her lips together and took a deep breath. She ran over to the sweets table and picked up a large, chocolate yule log.

With quick, deliberate strides, she walked up to Hans and smashed the cake into his face.

Hans gawked at her, stunned. The distraction was enough for Kristoff to sneak up and wrench the sword from Hans' hand.

"What is the meaning of this?" barked an authoritative female voice.

The crowd parted to let the queen of the Southern Isles pass. She surveyed the situation with a stony expression. Her son was covered in chocolate cake, and Kristoff had a sword pointed at him. Elsa stood behind the queen with her mouth hanging open, for once at a loss for words.

"I know what this looks like," said Anna, "but—"

"It looks like my son has proven that he is not fit to return to civilized society after all," said the queen. "It is time for us to take our leave."

Without another word, the queen turned and walked away. Two of Hans' older brothers shoved the bedraggled princeling along after her.

Kristoff was still holding Hans' sword, and stuck it into a planter of holly while he mopped his brow with a sleeve.

Anna threw her arms around his neck. He groaned as she pressed into his sore ribs but returned the embrace anyway.

"That was some move you pulled off there," he said. "Thanks."

Anna smiled mischievously.

"I know my way around a cake."


End file.
